I never imagined these past couple of months would be so busy! I have so much I want to share here, but my other blog is keeping me so occupied it has been hard to stop thinking with my mind and start sharing with my heart, which is what this blog is for.

So, I just want you to know I haven't stopped blogging here, it's just on pause until after the New Year when things start to settle down!

Have a wonderful Christmas & New Year!

Coming Up Roses

I took this photo today of my anniversary roses. I wanted to capture them before they wilted.

Center of attention...

I love how cheery they are and wanted to share!

Hold Fast To Me, Mama

Hold Fast To Me, Mama

Hold fast to me, Mama. Don't let me go.
I love you, Mommy, & you need to know.

Hold fast to me, Mama. Where are you taking me?
I love you, Mommy, With you is where I want to be.

Hold fast to me, Mama. YouĂ­ve left me all alone.
I love you, Mommy, but my anger for you has grown.

You let go of me, Mama. I am abandoned and afraid.
I still love you, Mommy, I need your warmth and aid.

I feel cold, Mama. My love washed away with my tears.
I feel numb, Mommy, not a trace of you after all these years.

I'm holding fast to you, Mama. Searching for you.
I feel empty, Mommy, not even a clue.

I'm holding fast to you, Mama. I refuse to give up.
I feel strong, Mommy, my chin is up.

I've finally found you, Mama. I grasp on tight.
Do you love me, Mommy? Have I won my fight?

You are so lost, Mama. Your eyes are full of sorrow.
Your guilt is overwhelming, Mommy, will you be here tomorrow?

I am letting go of you, Mama. You have left me twice alone.
The wound is too deep, Mommy, I should have known.

All my life I have prayed and searched...only to be rejected and hurt.
By the only person who gave me life, My Mama.

I refuse to fall once again, spiraling into that pit of self destruction.
I am going to keep my head up, and be the best MY son.

He will never feel abandoned and alone. Never will he have to search to find me.
For I will always be there. Right by his side, where a Mommy should be.

Through the sleepless nights, the fevers, the temper tantrums.
I will be there. Holding fast to my son.

Giving out plenty of hugs and kisses. He will never be afraid.
Mommy will be there to give him plenty of warmth and aid.

My son and I are holding fast to each other, and all the while,
That emptiness is slowly being forgotten, as I mother my child.

I love you, my sweet Austin Lee.
Love Always, your adoring Mommy.

copyright Tamara Dawn 1993/Revised 1999